After all of the hub-bub over the weekend over a couple of M words (mommybloggers and Motrin), I’ve successfully (so far) resisted the urge to comment directly (much) on the subject.
Instead, I’ll relate a little vignette over a related parenting topic concerning a C word – circumcision.
As some of you may know, I’m the adoptive father of two sons. And since these were open adoptions, we were fortunate enough to have a say as to whether our sons were to be circumcised or not.
Like all things parental or related to parenting, people are all over the map, pro and con, regarding circumcision.
Some people are quite in your face about it, as a matter of fact.
For the purposes of this discussion, I won’t say whether we did or didn’t opt to circumcise – but will disclose that our decision was not so much based upon religious or health issues as much as on social considerations (why am I different from Dad? Why am I different from big brother?). Hopefully, this paragraph will be the most uncomfortable one you have to read here…
Point is, when it comes to parenting, it gets down to the core of your most basic beliefs of what it takes to raise a person… to BE a person; and when someone attacks your parenting choices, you don’t take it as a knock on a particular choice (breast vs. bottle, sling vs. stroller, hospital vs. midwife, circumcision vs. not, etc.) – you take it as a direct attack on your most basic beliefs.
Hence the vitriolic reaction among a segment of the blogosphere over the weekend.
Anyway, back to the C word.
While getting ready to leave the hospital with my second son, we informed the doctor of our decision regarding circumcision.
The attending physician was obviously in disagreement with our choice. You could tell by his demeanor.
And by the fact that he asked us like three times if we’re really sure about it.
It wasn’t the first time we’d run into the “hey, you’re a bad parent if…” deal, and it wasn’t the last.
The point is this – you and your family have to live with the decisions you make. No one else, as long as your decisions are within the law, obviously.
Every day you drop your kid off in the school line in a certain brand of car, or go to a particular restaurant, or play on a certain team, or dress your child a certain way, or subscribe to a certain philosophy of child rearing – you’re gonna be judged.
Get over it, deal like a grown up. Chill.
Because there are enough difficulties in being a parent – good or bad – besides someone dogging your point of view in an online ad.
Now, please excuse me. I’m going to go write a strongly worded letter about a “Dad is an idiot” commercial I just saw.