“It’s not about the money.”
If someone says that, you can bet that whatever the problem is, it is 100% about money.
“It’s not about the playing time.”
Again, you can bet that whatever the problem is, it is 100% about playing time.
What gets me is this: if the problem is money, playing time, access, whatever – how do you expect to resolve the issue by denying the very thing that you hope to have corrected IS the problem?
How can anyone resolve your problem if you are unwilling to admit what is making you unhappy?
No one wants to be called out or thought of as selfish, or greedy, or self-centered.
And in my experience, when someone is not happy with the money they are receiving or the amount of playing time that they are getting or the amount of access to something that they are allowed, they use this tactic of rhetorical denial to not look petty.
You may not be being petty.
Then again, you may be.
But denying the root of the issue you want is resolved is a road block to getting what you really want.
Don’t like the money you make? Admit the problem is money. Ask for more money, or at least what you need to do to get more money.
Don’t like the amount of playing time you get? Admit the problem is playing time. Ask why you’re not getting the playing time you think you deserve and what you need to do to get that additional time.
This quirk of the human psyche is one that I have seen from kids sports all the way up to business and professional sports.
Remember – Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt.